How To Get Over Being In Love With Your Bestfriend
by IwantEliGold
Summary: Clare and Eli are best friends. Clare may just have more feelings for Eli than a best friend should. You know you've been through this sort of thing before, so walk with Clare as she goes through the steps of getting over being in love with a best friend.
1. Chapter 1

Clare's POV

Eli Goldsworthy. My best friend. Well, my best _guy_ friend, aside from Alli. We do everything together. It's ridiculous. He comes to my doctors appointments and waits for me to get done, we wrestle, we stay up on the phone until one o'clock in the morning. We go to the movies together, watch the same movies when we are talking on the phone. There is so many more things that I could name, but I'm pretty sure that would just be waisting your time. So, I'll spare you. Anyway, sometimes we even fall asleep with eachother on the phone, it's so much fun. Most of the time, he'll start talking in his sleep, and I'll be on the other end snickering.

Half of the time, people think we're dating. But we're not. Trust me, I would know. I've wanted that for as long as I can remember. But I guess he only sees us as friends, and that's all he'll ever see us as. He always tells me I'm like his sister, or when people ask if we are dating he'll be like;

"No, we're just friends, she's like my sister" and then do something stupid like ruffle my hair, and then I just have to stand there and say "Yup. That's me. Eli's sister."

It drives me crazy! And it's like he gives me so many mixed signals, it confuses the crap out of me! I don't know which way is up, and which way is down. I mean, does he like me? Am I reading into things? He drops these subtle hints, or atleast that's what I think they are. Then the next time I see him, it's like none of that was ever said at all, and he doesn't even remember that it happened. We act like we're together, but both of us know we aren't. It's so frustrating! When will he ever see me as more than just his sister? He calls me lover for crying out loud! Well, okay. So we both call eachother lover. It's just kind of a funny nickname we started to call eachother one time, and it kind of stuck. I don't remember how it started, so don't bother asking.

Every one laughs at us, and thinks we're hilarious. Our friends _PARENTS_ think we're hilarious for crying out loud! They tell us we're like an old married couple. We laugh it off, but little does he know, that I can picture that all in my head, because I want that to be us someday. I want him to be waiting at the alter for me someday, instead of sitting in the crowd watching me get married to someone else. I want to have kids with him, and run around and chase them in the backyard as a family. I want to fight, but then makeup, and know that everything is still okay between us, because we love eachother, and nothing could ever come in the way of that. I want to grow old with him, and hopefully one day die together, so I'll never have to spend one minute with out him.

That's how I want our life to be. I don't want to be his sister! If I was his sister, then he'd be the best man at my wedding, not the groom for crying out loud! That's not how I imagine it at all! But I guess all I can do for now is sit back and wait. I may be waiting for nothing, I'm completely aware of that, but I'm also willing to take that chance, seeming that anything can happen. Even if I have to wait forever. Okay, so maybe not that long. But for now, I'm going to try to stop leading myself on, and acting like there is something more between us, that isn't. I'll just act like his bestfriend, no feelings attached. Well, astleast none that he knows of. If I look at us as just friends, then maybe the things he says or does won't continually break my heart, like when he tells me I'm like his sister. I won't look at it as anything more. I'll spare my heart from getting broken.

I know that there are those of you out there who have been through this before, and know how terrible it is, or those of you who are going through it right now, like I am. Being in love with your best friend, and not knowing how to stop the pain you feel in your heart everytime you see or hang out with them, because you know that you can't have them, and it's getting harder to even be there friend. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll help walk you through this, as I walk through it myself. We'll get through this together. I have to go for now, but come back another day and I'll get you started on all about how each of my days or scenerios go with Eli, and how I make my way through them. Sometimes all there is to do is cry. But that's okay! Sometimes that's all you can do, but in the long run, it makes you feel a whole heck of a lot better. Trust me. Just stick with me, and we'll get through this together. Come back later, and we'll get started!


	2. Authors note!

**Hello everyone! I decided to write a new story. Tell me what you think! I was hoping that after reading this first chapter, you could review, not only telling me what you think about this story so far, but about different scenerios or situations you have been in, or are in, pertaining to this story. I'm hoping to be able to incorporate them into this story, but in Clare's point of view, and how she gets through each one. I've been through this sort of this before, and am actually going through it again right now, of being in love with your best friend, and I figured that many of you have probably gone through it before, and I thought maybe we could get through it together! So, please review and tell me what you think! Should I continue? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I'm really glad you liked my story so far. That's great news to hear! First off, I would like to start off by saying that this may just be a series of one-shots pertaining to each situation or scenario that Clare goes through with Eli. It will still be the same story line each time, that they are best friends and do everything together like explained in the first chapter, but I just thought it would be easier to do it this way. Just writing about each situation that they face. Anyway,_ TurboWiz70:_ That is a great idea! I've actually had that happen to me before, and trust me, I know the feeling. It sucks. And the same guy who I've gone through it with before, is who I am starting to like again now, after I convinced myself I don't like him more than a friend. He's my best guy friend. It's like the cylce just keeps going and going. Anyway, enough rambling! I'm sure you don't want to hear all about my love life, or lack there of, so on to other things. To answer further questions, yes this will be an ECLARE story. And if anyone else has any situations or scenarios that they would like to share, and/or have incorporated into the story, then by all means, send it in a review or a private message. All ideas are welcome! Thank you and please review! :) **

Clare's POV

"Hey Eli" I said, while walking up beside him as he stood in front of his locker, lost in conversation with Adam. We all seemed rather giddy today. I'm not really sure why. I was just happy. It probably had something to do with the fact that I got to see Eli though. That usually does the trick. Why Eli and Adam were happy on the other hand, was not really to my knowledge.

"Oh, hey Clare" Eli smiled back at me. "Adam and I were just talking about that new chick...April, I think it is... that got here today. Have you seen her? She's hot!" So, that's why they're giddy. Great.

"Uh, yeah, I've seen her. She's pretty" I replied, while clearing my throat and looking down at my small floral print flats.

"Pretty? Clare, that girl is smokin'! Hey, do you think that she would go out with me? Should I talk to her? What should I do? C'mon Clare, help me!" Eli all but attacked me while begging for my help.

"Jeez Eli, you're starting to sound like a girl. Control your hormones" I said, while giggling at him. I didn't show it, but on the inside, I was frowning. My once giddy day, just turned into a horrible one. I mean, c'mon. Who wants to hear about their best friend that they are in love with, talk about some other girl that he thinks is so hot? It's basically a slap in the face, and they don't even realize that they are doing it.

I really don't want to help Eli out on this one, or give him any sort of reason as to why this new chick would like him, or how he should approach asking her out. But I don't want Eli to know how I really feel about him either, and if she will make him happy, then I guess it's I have to do it for now. It hurts to give him advice about other girls, but what am I going to do? I'm supposed to be his best friend, and if I say anything as to why I don't think it's a good idea that he go out with her, or any girl other than me for that matter, then I'll give way too much away, and he'll get suspicious.

I can't have that. Eli can't know that I like him as a little bit more than a best friend. Well, okay, so a lot more than a best friend. But, he can't know that! Partially because it would probably ruin our friendship, which I'm sure you've probably heard a thousand times before, but it's true! One wrong move and everything could go wrong. In a blink of an eye, everything can just become awkward just like that. The next thing you know, you can't bare to look at each other, let alone be in the same room. I do not want that happeing to Eli and I. Second of all, if he finds out that I like him, all that is going to happen is I'm going to have to sit and listen, and be embarrassed, as he tells me all of the reasons that we can't be together. That would definitely suck. I don't need more conformation about him not liking me. I would so not be able to handle that sort of rejection. Especially when it's from Eli. My best friend. That would be terrifying. I don't think I would ever be able to look at him again.

And don't sit there and roll your eyes, thinking that I'm being way too over dramatic. This stuff could happen! Have you ever tried it out for yourself? No? Well don't! It's horrible! Don't ever take a chance with something like this! It could potentially destroy your whole out look on the dating life. Just trust me. Telling your best friend you like them as more than a friend, is a horrible idea. You're just setting yourself up for rejection. Especially when you don't have a definite sign that he likes you yet. And trust me, I know, guys can give WAY too many signs. Most of the time they are just confusing, because you think what you want to think about them, which is that they like you, but in actuality they probably don't. Well, atleast not the way you think they do anyway. The sign probably means something else entirely, or they just didn't give any thought to saying it or doing it, and just blurted it out. It could just be a spur of the moment thing. You have to wait for a DEFINITE sign. And usually, that sign isn't until they point blank come out and tell you, "I LIKE YOU" or tell one of your friends or something. Just trust me. Don't tell them you like them, or jump to conclusions before you get that sign.

What? You don't believe me? Well, fine. Go try it out for yourself, and then come back and tell me how it went. Don't assume that I won't be waiting here for you to get back so I can say I told you so to you over and over again. Best friend love is dangerous territory. By all means, go try it out. But don't come crying to me when you get your heart broken. I will not be held responsible. In all fairness, I did warn you.

Anyway, if you really want to take my advice on this whole, "I'm going to go home and mope because the best friend that I am in love with, likes someone else, and I had to give him advice about it" thing, then I'll tell you what I would do in a situation like this:

**1.) Go home, and lock yourself in your bedroom, or wherever you feel most secluded and comfortable. **

**2.) Pick your favorite singer or band, and find a song pertaining to someone liking a person, or friend, and them not knowing that they like them, (If you're a Taylor swift fan, like myself, then I would suggest listening to "You Belong WIth Me", or "Teardrops on my guitar". Those are both good ones.), or knowing and they like someone else. **

**3.) Next, sit on your bed or wherever is comfortable to you, and listen to the song while thinking about your best friend, and the situation you just recently went through pertaining to the song. (Like the one I just went through with Eli, of having to give him girl advice) Technically, this is moping, yes. But trust me. It helps. Well, atleast I find that it does. Music is a great way to deal with MANY things. Mope around for a while. Be a little depressing. But not too depressing. No need for drastics. But just enough until your back on your feet again, and can start new tomorrow.**

**4.) Cry. It may seem ridiculous to you, and you don't have to do it, but sometimes it helps to get the anger, frustration, and sadness out. Cry if you have to. Don't be afraid. There is nothing wrong with crying. (Besides, that's why you're in a secluded area.)**

**5.) Start fresh tomorrow. Start off with a whole new slate. Forget about what happened the day before, push it aside, you already had your time to mope. Try to look at things from a new perspective. Instead of looking at it as you just got your heart broken by your best friend without them knowing, be thankful that they don't know, and you can start new. Today, look at things like you're just friends. Nothing more. It may be slightly difficult, buy you'll find that it takes a lot of the pressure off. You don't try as hard to be something you're not. you can just be you, and it feels great. Especially knowing that they still treat you the same, and like you as a friend, at least for now, just by being you. If they're are any sort of true friend, they'll stick around, even when you're just being yourself. You should always just be yourself. That's how you want people to like you. If you can't be yourself, then I am sorry to tell you that you are just waisting your own time, and you should find somebody new, somebody special, who will really just like you for you. : )**

Well, these are my steps on how to get over having to give girl advice to your best friend, who you are completely in love with. Hope this helped! Come back next time for more tips and ideas! ; )


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright everyone! First off, thank you for the reviews and alerts! Your reviews keep me going! Second of all, I just want to clear something up really quick so no one gets confused. This will be a series of one-shots. They will all pertain to Clare loving Eli though, and them being best friends. But I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that these will all be different one-shots. Here is the third one, but this is part one. Part two, which includes the halloween party, will come later. That is if I get reviews! Hehehe. :) Thank you!**

Clare's POV

_Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. _

"Ugh" I groaned, as i rolled over in my bed and grabbed my annoying cell phone. I had woken up to it's incesent vibrating. If I knew I wouldn't have to pay for a new one, I probably would have thrown it across the room and against the wall. Making sure it broke into a bagillion little pieces.

"Hello?" I asked groggily, while flipping open the cover.

"Clare? It's Eli. Are you still in bed?"

I rolled my eyes and looked over at my alarm clock illuminating the room with big, bright blue numbers.

"Well Eli, it is 10:00, on a Saturday morning. So yes, I'm still in bed"

"Well jeez Clare, it's time to get up already! I've called you like three times!"

"I didn't hear my phone ring, its been on vibrate, and thank God I didn't hear it, because I probably would have killed you"

"Oh c'mon Clare-bear. You know you wouldn't have killed your Lover"

"Don't tempt me Eli. Never underestimate what I could do to you"

"Yeesh Clare, it's not even noon yet, and you're already pulling out the death threats. I hate to think about what's going to happen to be before dinner"

"Ha ha" I laughed sarcastically. "It's Saturday morning Eli. I'm tired. What is it that you need?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely...not. I was wondering if you could drive me to Adam's party with you tonight. Morty's in the shop, and my parents are going out"

"Oh, right. Adam's party. Good thing you reminded me of that. I probably would have slept right through it at this rate. Uh, but yeah. I can pick you up. I'll see you at six?"

"Oh, great! Thanks Clare! I owe you one!"

"Yeah yeah, now just let me get back to sleep, please!"

"Alright, alright. I'm hanging up. I'll talk to you later Clare"

"Bye Eli" I shut my phone, placing it back over on my night stand, and rolled back over, tucking myself back under my layers of sheets and blankets. I had sort of forgotten about Adam's party. But I was excited to go, so you'd think I would have remembered a little sooner. It's probably just because I'm tired.

You see, Adam and his brother Drew, throw this awesome Halloween party every year. Everyone goes, and we all dress up in our different costumes. It's alot of fun. Alli is supposed to me coming over later so we can get dressed into our costumes together, and she can help me with my hair and make-up. I'm being a fairy, and Alli is being some sort of sexy pirate I guess.

For now, I don't want to think about any of that. I just want to go back to sleep!

"C'mon Clare! The party starts in two hours, and you still have to pick up Eli!" Alli yelled to me from inside my bedroom. She was in there getting ready for the party, and I was pretty sure she already had her costume on, while I, myself, had just barely gotten out of the shower.

I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror, in nothing but a big, fluffy, purple towel. My sopping wet curls hanging tightly around my face. I was really hoping that Alli could transform me tonight. You know, to help me look good so Eli can see me all dressed up. I want him to look at me as more than a friend tonight, while all of the other girls from Degrassi are going to be there as well. I want to fit in with them, in the sense that he doesn't just look at me as his best friend. But I want to stand out in that, I'm different from all of those other girls in a good way. In a way that says "She's my best friend, and she's always been there for me. She's nice, kind, smart, and beautiful. She's different, and I love her" kind of way.

Eli gives me these little hints all the time that he could possibly be falling for me. Like he might actually like me as more than a friend. So, we'll see how tonight goes.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled back to Alli, as I sighed, got changed, and quickly made my way out of the bathroom.

"Ugh, there you are!" Alli said while shoving my costume at me. It was a short, light blue, fairy like dress with a corsette top. It was really cute and I couldn't wait to show Eli. "Now hurry up, go get changed! Then we'll do your hair and make-up. You know, you're really lucky I changed into my costume and did my hair and make-up first, like, two hours in advance! Otherwise we would be here for another century, and end up getting to the party three hours late!"

"Don't exaggerate Alli" I said, while rolling my eyes at her and giggling.

"Clare, do you not understand how long it takes for me to get ready? It takes time to look this good! And you better hurry up if you want to look this good too, we only have about an hour and ten minutes before the party starts, and you still have to get Eli!" Alli hollored back at me.

"Alright Alli. Calm down, I'm going" I huffed, while turning around and heading back into the bathroom to get changed.

"Finally! Thank you!" Alli yelled after me.

About forty five minutes later, I was standing behind my bedroom door, gaping in aw, as I stood looking at myself in the full length mirror.

"Wow Alli. I look incredible" I stated, as I twirled around in front of the mirror, watching as the bottom of my knee length dress puffed out a little at the bottom in doing so. The dress looked great on me, and I had a pair of cute silver flats to accent the dress. My fairy wings looked great, and they sparkled when the light hit them just right. My hair fell in beautiful, loose, bouncy curls, with a few strands pulled back on one side with a small, blue butterfly clip. My makeup looked great as well. I had a light blue eyeshadow, with a tad bit of glitter, eyeliner, mascara, and a hint of blush. Alli had even went the extra step and put three, small pink gems on the sides of each of my eyes. _I make a pretty cute fair. _I thought to myself. But it was all thanks to Alli. She's the one who had made me look this good.

I stepped away from the mirror, and walked over to Alli, pulling her into a bear tight hug. "Thank you so much Alli. You made me look incredible!"

"Aw, no problem Clare-bear" She said while hugging me back. "But you already look great all on your own. I just helped you out a little"

"Thanks Alli" I said, while pulling back, and walking over to my bed to grab the small glittery wand that came with my costume. "You look really great too you know"

"Really? You think so? Do you think Drew will notice?"

"Uh, yeah. I definitely think Drew will notice Alli. Don't worry"

"Thanks Clare-bear. You know, I'm sure Eli will notice how beautiful you look tonight too" She winked at me, while nudging me in the side with her elbow.

"Oh please Alli. You and I both know that Eli doesn't see me as anything more than a best friend. Please stop trying to get my hopes up" _I've been doing enough of that myself_. I thought, as we walked down the stairs and headed out the door and into my cute red mini cooper.

"C'mom Clare. Eli _has_ to like you. Any guy that wouldn't isn't worth your time. You look great Clare, and if Eli is too blind to see what is standing right in front of him, and who has stuck by his side through _everything, _then I'm sorry, but he's an idiot and doesn't deserve to be with you. Don't worry Clare. You'll find someone someday that you'll fall madly in love with, get married, and have a million kids with" _Yeah, I already did find that someone. It's Eli. He just doesn't know that yet. _I thought, as I nodded my head and thanked Alli.

"Your welcome Clare. Now c'mon, chear up! We have a party to go to, and we're gonna have a blast, boys or not!" Woah, I can't believe those words just came out of Alli's mouth. No boys? _She must be sick_. I thought.

"Alright, but first stop, Eli's house" I said, as I backed out of the driveway headed in the direction of the love of my life/best friends house.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Thank you for the reveiws! I hope everyone's Halloween was great! I know I had fun! First off, I want to start off by saying I'm sorry to TurboWiz70. I would have loved to update this for you for Halloween, but unfortunately I had plans that night, and got home late. I'm really sorry, because I really wanted to update for you. :( But, hopefully this makes up for it. I think it's a bit longer than my other chapters. So I hope everyone enjoys part 2 of the Halloween one-shot! Please review! Thank you! :) Oh, and sorry if there are spelling mistakes and stuff in here, I don't put my spell check on ever. Mainly because I don't know how. lol I assure you that I know how to spell, but I'm usually typing so fast I make a million mistakes. Plus, I never usually go back and re-read my story before I post it. Which I should probably get in the hang of doing. lol Anyway please enjoy!**

Clare's POV

As I pulled into Eli's driveway, with Alli beside me in the front seat, I couldn't control my excitement waiting to see what Eli was dressing as for Adam's party. After beeping the horn a couple of times, I watched as Eli made his way down his front steps and headed to my car. My jaw dropped, and my heart started beating ten times faster. He looked great. He had a long black cape, that was lined in red, his hair was slicked back, and his face was painted white, with a slight hint of dark circles under his eyes. His fangs looked awesome, along with the fake blood that trailed down his lips on each side. He made a HOT vampire, and I'm not just saying that because I have some sort of weird fetish with vampire fanfiction. He really did look great. Man, am I going to have a hard time keeping my eyes off of _him_ tonight.

As Eli walked towards my car, I could see him looking through my windshield at me and smirking. I waved slightly, smiling back. Just then, my train of thoughts were interupted when Alli spoke up, opening up the passenger door.

"Well, guess I'll go sit in the back. Might as well let you two love birds have your time together while you can" I glared at her for a moment, but thanked her.

"Thanks Alli"

"Yeah, Yeah"

As Alli was getting into the backseat, Eli was getting into the front.

"Hey Clare. Alli." He said, whle nodding his head in her direction. "You know, you didn't have to move Alli. I would have sat in the back"

"Eh, don't mention it. You can find a way to make it up to me later" Alli laughed from the backseat.

"Haha, will do" Eli said, laughing.

"You look so pretty Lover" Eli said to me while attempting to poke me in the side. He knew it was my most vulnerable spot, and I started giggling and squeeling uncontrolably.

"Sto-stop it Eli!" I giggle shouted, trying to remove his hand.

"Alright, alright. Guess I've tortured you enough" He said, while laughing and pulling away.

"Thank you. And thank you for the compliment. You don't look too bad yourself" I said to him, smiling.

"Aw, thank you Lover" He smirked.

"Oh, please! Can you two love birds stop flirting for five seconds and drive already! I want to be able to see Drew again before my butt sags and I have wrinkles on my face!" Alli shouted from the back seat.

"First of all Alli, we are not love birds, and second of all, what did I tell you about going to extremes?" I asked Alli, looking at her in the rear view mirror.

"Okay, fine. Maybe that was a little extreme, but I really do want to see Drew, so could we go already please?" Alli whined.

"Alright we're going, don't get your little pirate panties in a bunch" I giggled.

_**~Twenty minutes later~**_

Even though we were only about ten minutes late for Adam's party, everyone who was coming seemed to be there already. I guess there's no harm in arriving fashionably late. When the three of us walked in, we headed to the basement where the party was taking place. We all seemed to go in our seperate directions. Not that I would have minded tagging along with either one of my friends that I came here with, but I figured I would leave Alli be since she was off making her dreams come true about being with Drew for the rest of her life, or something to that effect. Atleast thats what she said. I'm just repeating it. And Eli on the other hand, took off to go find Adam, and I wasn't about to stand there and listen to another boring comic book conversation. I mean, it _is_ Halloween, I came here to have a little fun.

As I walked around by myself for a while, watching all the stupid people who were getting drunk, I stumbled across my friend Abby, who was standing in the corner talking to a boy with dark brown hair. He was a little bit taller than me, and I have to admit that he was cute.

"Hey, Abby" I said, while walking over to Abby and the dark haired boy.

"Oh! Hey Clare! This is Ben, have you two met?" Abby shouted over the loud music filling up the bottom half of the Torres household.

"Uh, no, I don't think we have" I shouted back, as I reached out my hand to shake Ben's.

"Well Clare, this is Ben, and Ben, this is Clare" Abby pointed, trying to introduce us.

"It's nice to meet you Ben" I said.

"It's nice to meet you too Clare. I like your costume. It looks really cute on you" Ben complimented, while smiling at me.

I don't even know how many shades of red my face turned in that moment, but I was pretty sure it had to be resembling the color of a rose right about then.

"Uh, th-thank you. That was really sweet of you" I muttered back, having a hard time forming all of my words.

"No problem. Hey Clare, do you want to dance?" Ben asked.

I was slightly taken aback. I mean, a cute guy actually wants to dance with _me?_

_I wonder what Eli would think. Would he get jealous? Oh, what are you saying Clare? Snap out of it! You know Eli doesn't like you as anything more than a friend! Just dance with this guy already, and don't do it because of Eli, do it because you want to!_

The little voice in the back of my head kept telling me one thing, which was to dance with Ben, but my heart kept telling me not to because it belonged to Eli, whether he knew that or not. The argument was definitely a good one. Both sides were very convincing. But, I think it's safe to say that my head won. Eli doesn't love me back, so why waste a whole night not having any fun because you couldn't dance with the one guy you really wanted to? Another cute guy is asking you to dance, so just go for it! Take the opportunity! Forget about Eli and have fun!

"Sure, I would love to" I smiled at Ben, as he took my hand, and led me to the middle of the basement floor where everyone else was dancing around us.

A little while later, after dancing with Ben through about three songs, I noticed Eli walking in our direction.

_What will he think? Is he jealous? Does he look upset? What's he going to do? _I kept asking myself all of these ridiculous questions as I waited for Eli to make his way over to us. When he finally did, he looked at Ben, nodded at him, and then looked down at me and leaned over to my ear.

"Hey, Clare. Do you mind if we go upstairs for a little bit? I want to talk" Eli asked me.

_What does he want to talk about? Is he mad? Is he going to ask me out? _I thought to myself while looking at Eli.

"Uh, yeah sure. Is it okay with you Ben if I go with Eli for a little bit?" I asked Ben.

"Oh, yeah, no problem" Ben replied.

"Thanks Ben. I had a really fun time dancing with you" I smiled at him.

"Me too Clare" He smiled back

"C'mon Clare, can we go now?" Eli asked, getting slightly impatient.

"Yeah sure, sorry"

Eli grabbed my arm and started to pull me up the stairs of Adam's house, and I couldn't help but notice the way my arm started to tingle and heat up at the slight contact. I couldn't have been happier in that moment.

The whole upstairs of Adam's house was empty. No one was up there but the two of us. Everyone else was partying it up in the basement, and Adam's parents weren't going to be home for another few days.

"Here, let's just go sit on the couch for a little bit and watch a movie or something" Eli said, while pulling me over to the huge white couch sitting in the middle of Adam's living room.

Eli turned the tv on, and layed down next to me, placing his head in my lap, and sprawling his feet out on the couch in the opposite direction. No one talked for a while. We just sat there watching some scary movie as Eli rested with his head in my lap, and I played with his hair. I was pretty content at that moment, and didn't want to ruin the limited time I had to do this, but Eli had said he wanted to talk about something, and I was curious as to what it was.

"Hey, Eli?" I asked, getting his attention.

"Hmm?" He mumbled, while turning his head slightly and looking up at me.

"You had said you wanted to talk about something?"

"Oh, right" Eli, then sat up, and I sighed as my moment had been taken away way to quickly.

"Well, remember Julia? My ex-girlfriend?"

_Oh great, we're back on her again? _I thought to myself, while internally rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, what about her?" I asked.

"Well she's here, and she's with her new jack-ass of a boyfriend. Did you know that his name is also Eli? I mean, who does that? Goes out with one Eli, and then turns around and dates another? Does she have some sort of Eli fetish or something?" He began to rant.

"Eli, the point please"

"Right, it's just, things just got suddenly awkward when I saw her here with him. It makes me jealous you know? It just irritates me. I guess it's a guy thing" He said.

"And you don't think girls get that way too?" I asked him, trying to hint that I was getting irritated with the fact that he was talking about her _again_.

"I highly doubt she's irritated" Eli responded.

_That's not what I meant. I meant me. _

"I don't know Eli" I slightly huffed.

"Me either" Eli said, while lying back down with his head in my lap. "But I don't like that guy, he's an idiot"

"He's not that bad of a guy Eli, you just don't like him because Julia is going out with him" I said while rolling my eyes.

"So?" Eli asked.

"Whatever, can we just get back to watching the movie now?" I asked, getting exasperated.

"Sure, but can you play with my hair again? That felt really good" He asked.

So that's what we did for the next few minutes. We sat there on Adam's couch watching a movie, as I played with Eli's hair. That's until Julia and her boyfriend decided to come upstairs. They walked past us, and to one of the bedrooms, Julia giggling like crazy. I looked down at Eli, and he looked even more irritated than he was before, but we just both rolled our eyes and went back to watching the movie.

"Hey could you rub my back?" Eli asked, as he sat up.

"Sure" I replied, as I lifted the back of Eli's shirt up, and began to run my hand across it. I was in heaven. Eli and I were always pretty touchy feely, but this definitely felt like a boyfriend, girlfriend, type of thing to do.

"I really need a girlfriend" Eli blurted out. "She could rub my back for me"

_Wow, that hurt. He's lying with his head in MY lap, and he has the nerve to come out and say that he needs a girlfriend? That was definitely a slap in the face, and a sign that he's not into me as anything more than a friend. Guess I got my answer. _I thought to myself, as I held back tears, and slowly shifted away from Eli. Not that I think he even noticed.

A few minutes later, we heard laughing coming from the direction of the bedroom that Julia and her boyfriend had entered, and we heard rustling. Before they could walk out, Eli quickly threw his head back into my lap, and grabbed my hand, wrapping it around his shoulder, and resting it on his upper torso. As much as I loved the feeling of this, I knew what it was for. It was all an act.

Julia and her boyfriend definitely looked way to giddy for just making out, and both smiled at us as they walked by, heading back downstairs to the party.

"You were trying to make her jealous" I stated. It wasn't even a question. I knew what he was doing.

"No I wasn't" Eli lied.

"Yeah you were Eli, don't lie" I retorted.

"Okay, fine. I was trying to make her a little jealous. Thanks for helping me out, I owe you"

"Yeah" I replied sadly. I had basically just been rejected, and my doubts of him liking me as anything more than a friend had been confirmed. I didn't know what else to say to him, there wasn't much else that I wanted to say at that point. I was sad, upset, jealous, and on the verge of tears. I just wanted to go home, lay in my bed, and cry.

Knowing that the one person who you really truly want, doesn't want you back, is heartbreaking. It's one of the worst feelings in the world, and I hated having to go through it. I could feel my heart breaking into a million little pieces, and my breathing becoming shallow. I just wanted to get out of there and be away from Eli.

"Are you okay Clare? You don't look so great" Eli said to me.

"Uh, not really, I just want to go home" I managed to say.

"Oh, well alright, do you think that you could drop me back off at my house first? You were my ride here" He asked. Great, more alone time with Eli that I really don't want at the moment. It's so awkward.

"Yeah, I guess" I replied.

"Alright. Well, let me just go get Alli first, since you were her ride here too" Eli said, while starting to make his way back into the basement.

"No need to. She texted me a little while ago. Drew is bringing her home" I told him.

"Oh, okay. Well then let's go then" Eli said, as we made our way outside.

The whole ride home was silent, and I was pretty sure that Eli could tell I was upset, or depressed about something. Not that I thought he was smart enough to have put two and two together yet, to figure out the reason why I was upset was because of him.

When we got to Eli's house, and I parked the car, Eli sat there for a second before opening up his door and getting out.

"Well, tonight kinda sucked huh?" He asked. "I hated seeing Julia there" He said.

I just stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say. The truth is, I was having a good time there at the party. That is until Eli decided to interupt me dancing with Ben and ruin the whole rest of my night.

"Well atleast you had a pretty good night. You got to dance with that one guy" Eli said. Just rubbing it in more that he basically didn't care that I was dancing with him, because he doesn't like me in the way that I want him to.

_Just go please Eli, before you make this any worse. I'm already in enough pain._ I thought to myself. Trying my hardest to hold back the tears that so badly wanted to fall.

"I guess I'll talk to you later Clare. Bye" Eli said, while getting out of the car. I watched as he walked to his house, and turned back to wave at me. I waved back, but just barely. Little did he know, that I was the one going home upset tonight. Not just him, because of having to see Julia. I was the one going home with a broken heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the great reviews! You guys are awesome! And trust me, I've been in these same situations that all of you have, so I definitely know how you feel. Actually alot of these scenarios are pulled right from my own reality. lol Although they may be embelished a tad bit. lol Anyway, please keep reading and reviewing! Enjoy! This is a new one-shot, but again it is only part one. There will be two parts!**

Clare's POV

"Clare! Your date is here!" My mother hollored up to me from down the stairs. Before you go jumping to conclusions, no, Eli is not my date. Although I'm really hoping that once he finds out that I skipped out on our annual movie night just to go on a date, he'll be jealous. But again with jumping to conclusions. I'm doing it myself, so I guess it's not really fair to scold you for doing it.

Anyway, remember Ben? The guy who asked me to dance a while ago at Adam's Halloween party? Well, that's who asked me out on the date. Apparently he got my number from Abby. He called me yesterday and asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him. Of course he's cute, so I was already going to say yes to going with him, but it's not like I didn't have the thought of Eli potentially becoming jealous in the back of my mind the whole time, ever since he had asked me.

I wasn't exactly using Ben, because I did like him, it's just that he might be able to help the process along of Eli realizing his true feelings for me. Okay, does that make me sound like a crazy person? Yeah, I thought it did too. But If things don't work out for me and Eli the way that I'm hoping they one day do, then I have to eventually start going out on dates and get a boyfriend if Eli is never going to fill that position. What better place to start than with Ben. I like him, he likes me, and he's cute. That's off to a good start, right?

"Okay! I'll be down in a minute!" I hollored back to my mom, as I stood in front of my mirror, quickly playing with my curls again, and applying my last coat of lipgloss. After slipping on a cute pair of black flats, I bolted down the stairs to Ben, feeling guilty enough for making him wait. I could feel a slight pool of butterflies growing in my stomach. Nothing like the ones Eli usually gives me, but they were definitely noticable.

"Hey Ben" I smiled at him once I reached the living room, where he stood with my mom.

"Hey, Clare. You look really great" He said, while eyeing me in my white, floral print skirt, and purple top. I blushed slightly, but replied none the less.

"Thank you Ben, you look really great too" I replied. He just smiled back at me.

"Aw, you two are so cute" My mother felt the need to comment.

"Thanks mom" I mumbled. "We'll be back later"

"Okay, have fun, and please drive safely Ben" My mother told us.

"I will Mrs. Edwards. It was nice meeting you" Ben said to my mom.

"It was very nice meeting you as well Ben, I hope to see you again sometime" My mother replied.

After saying our goodbyes, Ben and I made our way outside to his car. His light blue Chevy Comaro to be exact. As he opened up my door for me, I thanked him and slid inside the front seat, lined in sleek black leather. This was definetly an awesome car, and probably cost a fortune.

As Ben slid into the drivers seat, and I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I said to him:

"Okay, so either you've been working since you were a baby to be able to afford this car, or you stole it. And I'm willing to bet on the latter" I said to him, while giggling.

"No, I didn't steal it" Ben replied, laughing, and pulling out of my driveway headed to the movie theater.

"This is actaully my dads car, he just let me borrow it for tonight. He's a doctor, so paying for this isn't exactly the biggest deal for him. He makes pretty good money"

"Oh" Was all I could come out with.

"So what about your mom? What does she do?" I asked

"Uh, she's a lawyer, so I don't really see either of my parents a whole lot. It gets pretty boring around the house"

"Oh, so you don't have any brothers or sisters?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm an only child. I wouldn't have been, but my mom miscarried once before me and once after me" He stated.

"I'm sorry, that must have been hard on you" I said to him, feeling slightly guilty for asking.

"Oh, don't be. My mom had just barely found out that she was pregnant when they happened, I mean, they were only about a week or two along when she found out, so it didn't really make much of an impact on me. More so on my mom" He told me.

"I could imagine" I replied.

"Well Clare, we've talked alot about me, but what about you? What do your parents do for a living?" He asked me.

"Well, nothing too exciting like your parents, but my dad works for some big company, and my mom is a councelor at one of the schools a couple of blocks from Degrassi. She was offered a job there, but she thought that it would be weird for me, going to school there, and having my mom being the councelor and all" I told him.

"Oh, well that's cool. My parents don't really take into consideration whether or not they embarrass me. I think they could care less" He said as we pulled up to the movie theater, and he parked the car in the closest spot available.

"That kinda seems like it sucks. I'm sorry" I told him.

"Eh don't be, I'm used to it" He said, before getting out of the car and walking over to my side to open my door for me.

"Why thank you kind gentleman" I said to him while laughing.

"It was my pleasure, princess" He replied, while laughing back. It was wierd how comfortable I felt with Ben.

As we made our way into the theater and up to the ticket stand, I felt Ben reach down and grab my hand. Intertwining his fingers with mine. My heart skipped a beat, and the butterflies in my stomach began to go wild. It was weird, I had managed to forget about Eli for atleast a good half hour. But it was probably because I was starting to feel a little guilty that I all of a sudden remembered him. Partly for semi using Ben, in order to let loose Eli's little green monster, but also because in a way, this felt like cheating. LIke I was cheating on Eli. I know that we aren't together, but like I said before, my heart belongs to Eli, whether he knows that or not. But, if Eli doesn't want me, then I have to be happy too. Although I do feel guilty about ditching Eli on movie night, and not telling him that I was doing so. I have to admit that it was a schmucky thing to do.

"Clare, here's your ticket" Ben said to me, snapping me out of my thoughts, as we walked into our theater.

"Oh, thanks" I said to him, while taking it.

As the previews came on, Ben and I sat there talking and laughing, getting to know more about eachother. We stopped when the movie came on, and I felt Ben reach down and take my hand in his own again. The feeling was nice. His hand was soft and warm, and it felt strong. I felt safe.

Halfway through the movie, my happy thoughts were interupted as my cell phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I knew someone was calling me, so I told Ben to excuse me for a second and that I would be right back. I had to answer the phone in case it was important like my mom calling or something.

As I stepped out of the theater, and looked at my phone, I realized that it was Eli who was calling me. _Uh oh._ I thought to myself before I hit the little, green, talk button.

"Hello?" I said, rather shakily into the phone. I was kind of nervous as to what he was going to say.

"Clare! Oh, thank God! Are you okay? I've been texting you non stop, and I've called you like a million times! Where are you! Are you okay?" Eli yelled frantically through the phone.

"Uh, yes. I'm okay Eli, calm down" I told him.

"Calm down? You had me worried sick Clare. It's movie night and you didn't show up and wouldn't answer your phone. It just wasn't like you. I got worried" Eli replied.

"Thank you for the concern Eli, and I'm sorry that I worried you, but I'm out on a date" I told him, sheepishly.

"You're what! With who?" He asked, sounding a tad angry.

"Remember Ben? From Adam's Halloween party?"

"The one you were dancing with?" He asked

"Yeah, him. He asked me to go the movies with him, and I'm kind of being rude by standing out in the lobby talking to you" I said.

"So let me get this straight" Eli said. "You have time to say yes to going to the movies with Ben, you have time to go the movies with Ben, but you don't have time to attend our annual movie night, or time to atleast call me to tell me that you were going on a date with Ben instead of coming over?" Eli asked, rather upset.

"I'm sorry Eli, I should have atleast called" I replied, feeling guilty.

"You should be Clare. You shouldn't have ditched our annual movie night just to go out with _Ben"_ Eli said, getting quite nasty.

"Well I have the right to skip out on one movie night Eli, and to go out with whoever I want, when I want to. But this isn't really about me going out with Ben anyway, is it?" I asked, getting quite irritated myself. "This is about the fact that you have stay home all alone on a Friday night and be bored, because I'm here, and Adam can't come over because he's at his Grandmothers for the weekend, isn't it Eli?"

"Well I wouldn't have to be bored and alone, if you didn't decide to ditch movie night!" Eli hollored back through the phone.

"I knew it, so it wasn't because I went out with Ben that you were upset, it's because I wasn't there to entertain you, and you got bored! Wow Eli, you know, you're really being a jerk right now. I'll talk to you some other time, when you aren't in this mood of yours and you feel like talking rationally" I said to him before hanging up the phone, and walking back inside of the theater, rather irritated. I wanted Eli to be jealous, but not for this reason. My heart was crushed, and I could feel my breathing becoming ragged as I sat back down next to Ben, trying to hold back tears. Well, my date is officially ruined.

I know some of you are probably tihnking that I shouldn't let some guy ruin my date, some jerk. But when you wait your whole life just to be with that said jerk, hoping that that isn't what they are really like and they're just having an off day, you tend to keep falling into the same old routines. You don't care what they said or did, you keep letting it slide, hoping it will change. That he never treated you that way and that he actually likes you the way you want him to, although he gives you sign after sign telling you other wise, you want so bad for it to not be true, that you keep brushing everything off. You keep building yourself up, making yourself believe something that isn't even true. All for a guy. You make him you're priority, and as soon as your up as high as you think you can go, you fall flat on your face. Breaking everything inside of you. Everything you thought you ever had with him, everything you ever did for him, everything you ever passed up, just to spend some time with him, it was all a waste, and you realize you spent all your time, on basically nothing. Everything inside of you feels like it's breaking, and you can't breathe. Do you want to know the worst part? You don't even know how to control it, how to stop it. It consumes you, until you feel as if there is nothing left.


End file.
